For someone with love:

जरा सी सांस कम होगी तुम्हारे दूर जाने से ....
मेरी आवाज कम होगी तुम्हारे दूर जाने से ......

तुम्हें एहसास मुमकिन है न होजं इतनी मोहब्बत का .....
बहुत सी आँख नम होंगी तुम्हारे दूर जाने से ...

मिले दो पल हंसा कर चल दिए यूँ बेवफाई से ...
हंसी सब भूल जायेंगे तुम्हारे दूर जाने से ....

ये सपना था, हकीकत थी, मुझे इस से नहीं मतलब ..
ख़ुशी की रात कम होंगी.. तुम्हारे दूर जाने से.....

वो हर एक बात पे हँसना हँसाना गुन गुना जाना....
कहाँ ये बात होगी अब तुम्हारे दूर जाने से ......

चलो तकदीर में इतना सही इतना मिला हमको ....
हमें मत भूल जाना तुम मगर यूँ दूर जाने पर......

My Girl and My Girl Friends..Mery vidhaniyaan

Many times i thought of putting this idea on my page .... but don't know why i stopped myself... may be the fear that i will loose something, may be something else... but today when i am over pouring my self with the emotions of my love for my girl i am putting some of the vibes of my emotional and girly life.....

From the childhood only my dream was never of becoming a doctor or engineer or anyone having great post or something. But on the contrary i always wanted a friend and being very specific i wanted a girl friend as i always afraid that "Kahin aisa na ho jaaey ki saari khoobsoorat ladkiyaan kisi na kisi ke sath engage ho jaayain" so due to this fear only this dream always had the most influential backup. If i am not wrong i realized this first time when i was only in class 5th. There was one girl "Riya" whom i consider as my first crush. And the reason why i realized that was came to my notice when i left the college and in the consequence i wrote my first poetry. Which was basically a parody .. still the romance and fantasy rolls up in my life. And from the onward i always tried to focus on the one who can be the best suitable one for my life which would be going to begin after 12 or 13 years.

Then the second big crush came when i saw her during my college competition of Debate and she came second and fortunately i came first. Her name was "------". This crush remains like this until today. Sometimes even today when i go by the same way she supposed to live i wonder that my eyes are looking and my heart is praying to god for her one glimpse.

Then the third and the finest came when i proposed her "My college junior". But the same result as the proposal was so unromantic that all my theory of romanticism got vanished up. And the result is that even today .. people used to call me the man of failure. Though i know i am still looking to see her so what if she is engaged or something. Friendship was the thing for which i proposed her and i still have the same option open. And this is the soul reason that when ever i pass through "BTM" my eyes giggled to look for her.

And finally my girl came into the picture whom i never proposed neither she did.. but our thoughts, emotions. choices everything got glued up and then only we come to know that ya... this is what i was looking for. Today When she is looking so gorgeous, so beautiful, so cute, and so..[i know that i am not having words to describe] i am missing her. I know everyone in the crowd will be looking at you but from each and every eyes only i am seeing you jaan. No one else in the world has right to see you as i am seeing you, as i am feeling you. Jaan you know this is the night when for each and every moment i am feeling that i am away from you, as i am dying for you, as i am no one without you, so incomplete, so absurd, so fade and what else. This is you who are making me colourful. This is you due to whom i can laugh, i can confidently live and survive. I am missing you jaan more than any other day ... i know you are busy... i know you are missing me too ... but jaanu aaj kasam se bilkul bhi man nahi ker raha hai ki main ek pal bhi rahun tumhare bina.. as it is like walking on the dark road with the fearful voice of wind and cloud. And i can't tackle.

Jaanu .... i am waiting for you. I know that even my try for the nap is not going to help me as i am putting you in my and then i am here but you please make it sure to come back soon. As i know that you too are missing me more than anything.


Love you jaan.

Two Flats...Two Nights...What a fun...... :P

Topic may look odd...may lead you towards an uncertain declaration for me but truly friends nothing is like that.....and really i am not as odd as the "Fashion " guys were or it will be more appropriate if i would say that fashion gays were .

From past many days i was bogged up with the crappy office life and really needed some energy boosters for me so that i can carry on with the same creativity i had and this is common to the life also, after a hectic schedule of life we always need a change, specially when you are going for a big one. This is something which is not exclusive in my case but in case of every professional or unprofessional individual. I knew it better that the start of this month up to the mid i am going to puzzle my self a lot, as so called RCM (D firing test) is being fixed for 13th of the month. So i thought of playing good with myself and decided that i will spend two of my beautiful night with the few of most admirable peoples and i did the same. One night i was in Koramangla "A Small NIT Allahabad" and the other night i was in BTM "A small MIT Moradabad".

I don't know what it was, why i had decided these two places, why couldn't i went to some remote place where learning from the destiny was easy. But OK at the time when i am writing this, i can feel it that the decision was right. Living in two different lifestyles in such a shorter span of time is really inspiring, lively and for a change good also. At one place the life was all about fun and at other it was funny. So no difference but yes your perception can make it different. I am not judging the two ways as both are leading towards a destination and neither comparing them. The only thing which i could do is to analyze, feel and adopt and that is what i am doing now. And i have a one liner for this "Life is all about understanding it, perception and living it." And so i lived it.

Partying in one of the most hanging around place like "Chandni chauk" then sitting around the smoky and drunked circle and participating in the olden, golden chit chatts about the past we lived and more over anything, pulling the legs of each other without any reasons and logic's for just one chill and light moment and loud loughs. But it was good. I loved that. And i really cherished it. Thanx ASHU : DOUBT.

Unfortunately movies, songs and philosophy states that every night has a morning and thus i wake up as my morning was ringing in my phone and my lovely would be was cursing me with her sweetheart tips of early to bed, early to rise makes man healthy, wealthy and wise. Though i know she was right enough but i can't help it sorry jaan. But for sure Sunday is yours.

By d way i was talking about the lovely Saturday i spend with my childhood friends and enemies [:P]. Yes i believe if you have a good friend you don't need for an enemy as he is the best for that also as he knows you and helps you in that also. So i went there with all my best fit things as now i have to live the life i always wanted. And here it goes. I went there, and surprise they all were waked up. My god, how come and then.......i come to know about the truth the laziest person lost something and they were looking for that. But whatever ...i got the easy access to facility as they all were set. And then i recollected the schedule of the day that i got enough time to sleep, to fight for thought and to request them for moving out. It is good because then only i realized how tough it is to convince people and to work in a team. Though i always felt that i am good in team work. But when i am talking about this place i am worst better if i say ....that i am frust. [:P].

Finally the time came when after a lot of discussion and plots i convinced them to move for the crazy concept of "Madhur Bhandharkar" d "Fashion" and believe me the movie was good enough to be forgotten in the theater itself as nothing new nothing memorable was there except if i say that after i long time i had seen a beautiful bhabhi. [:P]. Jo bhi tha....it was fun with the flashback of my life. And thank god that when i came back to room a great movie was aired "Izzazat" and that was the finishing touch. But before i end i must say one thing which Rekha told to Nasseruddin Sah: "Aadat chali jaati hai per adhikaar nahi jaate."

And finally........ I have something for the flat owners....

मेरा कुछ सामान, तुम्हारे पास पडा है
सावन के कुछ भीगे भीगे दिन रखे है
और मेरे एक खत में लिपटी रात पडी है
वो रात बुझा दो, मेरा वो सामान लौटा दो

Good Night.

From India to Japan: A journey

I hope this topic does not require any introduction. As the person about whom i am talking is implicit. Yes he is none other than the " Plan Man of Our Group".

Before i start writing it i have a moral as well as legal warning for you guys that all the thoughts are fictitious and there is no link in between the lines written here to any of the living or nonliving objects :) . If any resemblance is found then it will be treated mere as a coincidence.

So the story begins like this:

This was summer of 2002, more hot, more lethargic and more tough than any other summer. Sun was like the booming economy of India. As the time passes from morning 9 am to 12 am, so as the share market grows up to the unexpected height and so as the heat produced by the sun. May be both were competing with each other or may be India was heading towards the economic reform and the atmoshperic deform. Any thing.

Same year few fresh minds were destined to meet, to collaborate, to vacillate and for lot's of other task together. Place was moradabad . A place which was well know for the communal disharmony, which was well known for the Green Belt of farming it had and more over any thing if a say in one word it is city of brass. Yes this was BRASS CITY MORADABAD.

At the outskirts of this place which was newly developed .... with the ambiance of River RAMGANGA which is some how linked with the holy river ganga. With the fragrance of all greenery and the belt of wheat and mustard there was one place which was neither enough old nor new but OK this was good.. as all those who failed for IIT's thinks this can be the next place from where they can jump and they can again get there safe future. Yes this was MIT Moradabad. A 1996 estd college. College was having good repo in all the private colleges and was a good destination in between Delhi and Lucknow the two hubs of education.

They all were fresh enough to sing the song "Aankhon main sapne liye ghar se hum chal to diye" and this way the story begins though this was the huge crowd as doing an engineering was no more a specific course to be done it was mere a status symbol to attain so many of those who wanted to do a simple graduation for the shake of their family status opted for engineering and thus the crowd was divide in two one Hostalids and other one Localids. The line which i mentioned couple of heights above is more applicable to the second group. Though after joining the college life both the groups were having the same aims same thoughts and same dreams. Ya in some cases those were amplified and in some cases not amplified but OK. Now everyone of them wanted to be THE ENGINEER.

In this crew of 2500 students there was one fellow who was similar to Buffalo {if you talk about look}..... similar to Shiv Khera if you talk about thoughts {Note : I don't like shiv khera} ... similar to Saif Ali Khan of "Dil Chahta Hai " {if you exclude the wealth saif was having though the movie was not released until then }...... Similar to many unwanted disease which you never ever imagine for you. But a big butt :P he was a good Friend of liquor group, smoker group, and all other banned group of hostel. He was the first servant of the most notorious grand senior of our batch. He was the only one who been allotted a room not with us but with grand Seniors. So many unwanted, undesirable and unimaginable things happened to him in a very first year. I cant say much about these consequences with which he met but yes my opinion for him was that he is spoilt bread and in one line i say i hated him in first due to various reasons. Which i explained above.

But how come it affects him if he is the protongonist of the story so ... in the very first year what he did in the college was more indulging in the activity which i mentioned more grouping, more investment in terms of time and money to the group and :) and gossiping.

Sorry but i am not able to control my feelings about him and if i say that somebody if then would have come to me and ask what you say about his perforamnce .. i must said that he is going to be zero. But neither others nor the god has given a shit to my predictions and he was among the toppers in my batch. So this was the first success he got and by the end of the year few things which being genralized for him was as under:

1. He is good in planning.
2. He is good in partying.
3. He is good in team.
4. He is good in Cricket.
5. He has a best group of mit as a friend circle.

So above was the first year. And great achivements. Bravo. Mr. PlanMan.

This is a unanimous believe that second year brings a 3 fold swing to the first year students and same happened. Those who were the entrants in the notorious group became the shotters of that groups and the group was having there name on them. Which resulted in n number of Deciplinry action against him and other members means the guy who was just a beginner became the leader thanx the authorities and here comes the real realtion between me and the Hero of the story. Everytime anything wrong been done in the hostel or in the college or any where there few culprits which were undoubtly captured and fortunately me and the hero was among them. Though the reasons being in the same natorious group which i hated earlier was different but the result was same and the outcome of the result was a bond in between me and the "Buffalo". And this way we started our professional cum personal joint vanture. Here if i will not mention few names then the story will be a shear fake so here it comes ....the cast and the crew of MIT moradabads notorious cum famous cum admirable group:

amitesh, divas, divakar, kohsheen, ashish batra, amraendra pandey , bipin bajpee, vivek tiwari, anurag soni, dheeraj singh. Though my name should be the last in the group :P but as i am a writer so i can put it in the middle or front or any where which i feel comfortable.

So by the end of the second year we all had set a history which i hope some times people of Ram Ganga Vihar, Harthala, Line Paar, Amar Ujjala News paper, Dean and EC HOD office, MIT Football ground used to mesmerize and neighbours of MIT Boys Hostel used to memorize specially "Tilak bhavan's " Front and side neighbours. :P For our extremely social affairs.

So the hero celebrated his second year of engineering. and became the 50% engineer in 2004.

Should ? Would ? Could ? ......What d hell !!!!! Better i die.

Really!!!!!!!!!!! i am so much horrified with these words... that now i have to say to the whole world that for me it is the toughest job to include these worlds in my spoken English than to spy a girl.

Ya ! often i had seen people, those who are good in spoken and specially ready made English, they use these three, four words so frequently that i used to stuck with the thought that ya.. these are the only words which drives English as a language.... Bull Shit. And i have the real regrets that even after a 6 long years of exposure in village English i am still uncomfortable with these words and confused also.

For those who had the same problem and who has the courage to accept it can click the link and read the tutorial [:)]. This is really good. Thanx to BBC World.

Rock ON ---- Wednesday

This week was the real fun for me. And surprisingly i was happy in a different way. I was crazy, I was mad and more over anything i was ......i was..... oops!!! can't express in words. The week begins with the usual mentoring stuff and slowly slowly become worst but suddenly we became intelligent and had seen a movie "Rock On". Good Job Farhaan Akhtar and salute to JAved Akhtar that he is having a "Papa Kahte Hain wala Son". Though i personally believe that he could be frustrated after hearing the lyrics written by farhan aktar for the movie rock on. Though he sung it beautiful, but lyrics.... [:P]. As Javed Aktar belives that lyrics are the soul and music is body so as per my understanding of his views songs were body without the soul.

Though if i have to rate the movie then i would rate it 7 out of ten. It looks as a mixture of two great movies "Dil Chahta Hai" and "Jhankar Beats" again a personl feeling [:)]. Yaar i can not take risk to panggas with net fans. Still i must say that the movie was good and worth seeing it. So guys if you are still waiting, book your tickets now and see it this weekends and haannnn dont think that i am getting any profit sharing from Farhaan Akhtar.


Then the second was "Wednesday". Salute to the real gem of Indian cinema "Naseerudeen Sah"
and "Anupam Kher". I am much biased towards "SAH" as he is from my native place barabanki.

This movie was a real replication of thoughts of a common man and genuinely describes the mental status of people who are suffered in terrorism and other problems from a long run. Rest of the story jaan ne ke liye dekhain "Wednesday": A story of common man on this Saturday.

The third and the craziest things we did in the past week was "bunking the office". So finally we became the office bunkers. Thank ANKIT MARWAH. My Collegue, Friend and .....Roomy.

Bangalore is in my DNA

The moment i stepped out of the Bangalore railway station i was amazed, as it was much similar to the Chaarbaag Railway station of Lucknow in all other ways except in terms of hording. Chaarbaag is completely surrounded by the holdings like "Sex Problem : Meet Dr XYZ" , or something related to much hided "sexual diseases ". May be these are the justifying that all the luknowites are simply cherishing this thrilled disease .....offfffff.

I am really bothered by the presentation and the thoughtfulness of local authorities which are allowing such type of holding and 'n' in numbers throughout the periphery of charbaag station. What impact people will catch when they came from outside of the state to this "nawaabon ke sahar". Certainly then they will guess out that why nawaabi shauk is so much criticized in the outerworld and these holdings are giving them one more reason to believe that the "Nawaabs" were more engaged in "Nawaabi shaukh" than any other work.

So as in Bangalore but in other senses..like
c, c++ and Kannada is most widely used language in Karnataka : Worked
Bangalore is in my DNA : Worked
Even New york had Traffic Jams : No Big No , Not working.

Yes it is write that everyone has a right to put his or her view accordingly, but that doesn't allow you to make your thought caricatured on hording and show to the complete world. I don't understand that what it means: "Do we are competing with new york?, Or the target of Bangalore is to reach up to the level of new york".

Though i salute all other hording by this group but this is something which i believe is not really meant for. We as Indian are more progressive than anybody, so competing with those who are no where in the limit of ours is really a mismatch.

But OK one thing about which i am precisely sure and confident that this is the place where you are no where going to miss all things which you left at your home place as this city is going to give you everything from masalla dosa onwards up to my favourite khichadi.

Jai Banguloru

My First Salary

This was completely different experience, full of enthusiasm, excitement and eagerness. I was getting out of my bound.......is that so.....
no ..
i was not the only one in the office. Soon we got the information that our empty account is filled with the first month salary we all get excited and there was only voice in everyone's eye "Finally we got it".
And i am really speaking truth that the experience was much more scintillating than the moment when ranbeer kappor has taken the three kisses to the three so called most beautiful ladies of India in the movie "Bachana E haseeno". And this is no where abnormal , after a long and awaited 24 years we are getting such a lumpsome in our wallet. We were extreamly happy.

And then this was the turn when my mobile started pushing the buttons i dont what my fingers was doing but yes the call was to my mummy papa. And the sentece was as common as script of Ram Gopal Vermas film "Papa finally aapka ladka kamasut ho gaya hai, and mumma ab to khush ho na ab to tumhara ladka bhi kuch ban gaya".

If you are asking for the response from them then i must say that you are no where india because it is so obvious that mumma in response was not able to say anything as now she only can hide her "Khushi ke Aanson", praying to god that please retain the happiness of ours, AMEN.

This was not the end basically it was a beginning as i called to every one to whom i felt that he/she awaited for this day more than me. It can be anyone my wife, my friend my brother any body.

So still enjoying the best of the sallary and finest moments of my life with a committment to retain them .....

I am saying to you all like a daily soap operas of "Ekta Kapoor".....AAge kya hua jaanne ke liye dekhain....[:)]

I have some queries.......and some solutions also...

Some time it happens that we are in the situation where the confusion, frustration and all the negative energies meets and celebrate. This is the time when you are not at all able to go smoothly with all your "Chalta hai attitude". And then you decide to do something which is not brave which is sheer cowardic..which is a real shame to the human behaviour......

If you ever have a common though as i am discussing ....you can go through the test case i am prsenting to you. A common proble which we all feel ...and realize at some point of our life.

---------------------------------->>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Vivek: motte kua ker reaha hai...kuch suggestion do..i am feeling ajeeb sa..not feeling good..two reasons...

Padne main kai baar aisa lagta hai this is the palce i am not fit properly;'''...The qualoty which i was having or what i thought that i had in my college days...that is not even good.....enough to door ki baat ho gayi hai

i can not live with a slow and mediocre approach towards any work i am with.

so i am finding it tought to njoy it...i am not able to be the proactive here..chakkar ye hai ki..i am very much suffering from inferriority complex.....achha main dikhta nahi..acchi main angreji nahi bollta..programming mujhe aati nahi hai...GK main main achha nahi hun.....gaana main ga nahi sakta......naach main nahi sakta

:(...ab ye mat kahiyega ki main aap ko pakka raha hun...:(...if you can believe on me i am right..per plz kuch suggest kero

sandeep: kk.....I got the prob...never think some is better than u

Vivek: :(

sandeep: believe in urself

Vivek: how it is possible...man

sandeep: count ur positive points

Vivek: some one good like you is in forn t of me

sandeep: so wht

Vivek: how it is poosible that oyu belive that you are the best :(

sandeep: see tht many r not as good looking as i m so u ll feel better u hav a charming personality ha thoda ganja hai

Vivek: saale maje mat le i am serious main ..sucide ker sakta hun

sandeep: bt itna chalta hia...nahi ;le raha sale....tujhe achha feel karwa raha hun......regarding ur english its far 2 better than mine...

Vivek: saale main apni angreji se bada paersan uhn....GK se........peresaan hun

sandeep: wait

Vivek: GS se peresaan hun....Programming se persaan hun

sandeep: abe sun sale

Vivek: kahan gaya be....haan bata...:(

sandeep: abe GL a agaya tha.......abe tujhe aisa kabse lagne lag gaya

Vivek: jab se main marwah ke sath rahne laga...

sandeep: main to khud tere confidence ka deewana hhun.....

Vivek: jab se main banglore aaya...........jab se maine IB M join kiya........saale sab angrej ki chodain paida ho gayin hain.......

sandeep: pagal hai sale....sab bakwas hai

Vivek: saale main apna blog padhta hun ...fir doosre ka padta hun...........to main ker ta hia delet maar doun

:(

sandeep: pagal hai kya....sale English hi sab nahi hoti....meri to bahut gandi hai

Vivek: confidence to hoty hai be....

sandeep: ha hota hia....

Vivek: tery angreji aur to milke perfect hai..........saale

sandeep: but wo sab set ho jayega

Vivek: hope so.....

sandeep: abe hope so ki koi baat hi nahi hai.........sab ho hi jayega.......aur rahi Gk ki baat........to wo to paper padha kar magazines padha kar

Vivek: :(

sandeep: sale Ald wala n Muradabad wale Vivek ko yaad kar liya kar.....

Vivek: jab se NIT pahucha tab se choor ho gaya be........

sandeep: u ll feel better....

Vivek: koshish ker raha hun........saayad kuch sahi ho jaaye......:)

sandeep: abe aisa kya ho gaya ek dum..........bas abhi to sahi se training le.....

Vivek: haan wahi

sandeep: kisi ko kuch nahi aata.....

Vivek: nahi ais anahi hai.......dail routine main jab main rhytham nahi baitha patha hun logo0n ke sath

tab gusaa aati hai......

sandeep: abe jinhe ata hai thy r very less in nos.....

Vivek: ppl speaks so fluently ki i got absurd some time.........

sandeep: it happens....it happend so many times wid me.......sale tu to wahan sabse mil leta hai

thoda moral support to mil jat ahai.....

Vivek: saale to tujh se bhi to roj baat ho jaty hai...

sandeep: wht abt me...

Vivek: :(

sandeep: bt i m living...

Vivek: haan so to hai.......per to must hai be.........perfect type wala launda.....

sandeep: hr din yahi sochke jata hun ki aaj kuch achha hoga..........

Vivek: hoga be.....

sandeep: I m not perfect ...not at all....

Vivek: jaldi hi hum fir ek sath ek comp main chalegee.......

.

Vivek: achhi wali

sandeep: :(

Vivek: jai mata di..........ab kya hua....to kyoun ro raha hai be

sandeep: hope so..........abe tu aise karega to mera to sara confidence hi khatam ho jayega..

Vivek: nahi be asia nahi hai.........hum sab sath main mast ho jaayenge.....

sandeep: so end of story is that we r gr8..we r gonna rock d world..........any how..so dnt wry.....chal ab main kuch khake aa raha hun......talk 2 u later......khush raho aabad raho.......:)..:) .... :)

Vivek: jai ho...k..TC

Mission fails .....Vision can not.....

This is something which looks like a more theoretical and philosophical thought. Though it is not. It is more practical than a theoretical saying but in first eye it looks like. I personally believe that some times we are so obsessed with the feeling that there is a north and south type of difference in between theory and practical. Because science says that hypothesis is not a practical thing.

Today we were busy enough to define the thin line difference between the hypothesis and practical approach. Why? Sorry it is a bit personal question. Though the reason is simple enough ...i am having the age of 25 and i am certainly transforming myself into the "Grahstra Aasram". So it is natural enough that i want a vision which i could have i was 18 but no sorry !!!!!!!!!! as it is always good to come back to the right path ....late than never.

Though we had defined the things earlier also ...but we were not professional then. We were having our personal problems along our way. But now we are free ....at least we thinks so . And it is right also....now there is an open sky in front of us ..we can fly if we want to fly....we can count the height and width of the world if decide. ..............................All depends.


But one thing about which i am sure is ...."Mission fails but vision can not". So what if we lost...in one game ...we are indians and we can make any game interesting even at the last moment....you can ask for the examples....take any thing...any thing like Indian cricket team .....you can lose even when all the batsman are waiting for there chance...you can lose even if you have to make one run and you have one over and 8 wickets.......you take Indian daily shops....hundreds of the time actor in them dies and reborn. .......you take Indian movies....you never distinguish between the hero and "super commando dhruv".

And this thought would make me charge again so that i can start the venture i dreamt once. I don't know the shape ...i don't know the size but one thing which i have is a dream, a vision and a promise. Which i have to kept alive.

Chak de Vivek.

Can u Believe !!!!!! My voice is silent

She sells, sea shells at the sea shore....
She sells, sea shells at the sea shore....
She sells, sea shells at the sea shore....

noooooooooooo nooooooooo this is not a tongue twister man this is the description that why i am silent. And this is not the only reasons. I have many more ...could be ...should be...would be .....and many more like this only.

I read from the "Tough time never lost....." that nothing is fixed nor the success nor the failure though it is not the first time i read but as this is the just next time and right time to quote it.
I don't know why the waves of such a negative thought ..... why the dying attitude to know More about the complexity in which i can blow....why the love to the unstoppable charm to be the perfect...but yes i am having all this and this i know is unstoppable.

Though i crossed all the limits of tough time which i usually believe was surrounded me when i was doing my Mtech and Btech and meanwhile when i was waiting for my posting. Then why this sense of nonsense fear? Does i really turned into the man who lives in a constant fear? Does i have some sense of insecurity ? Does i am the one who in search of excellence lost their presence ?

These are the questions which are much common to all those who seek the books written by "Shiv kheda, Robert H sculler" and many more motivational writer .

No i don't need for any motivational leader or a counsellor. All which i needed is a sound sleep, a great dream, a committed desire and a focused attitude. And then at the end of the day i too can say with the commanding voice that
"Tough time never lost but tough people do".

See you later.

First Independece DAY OF Job

Hi, Happy independence day to all. A great day in the history of India and so as in the history of mine. You must be amazed by hearing this but yes it is true. I am also same independent today as India is feeling. As today is the first day when i am in the office while everyone is njoying the vacation by their own ways. Though i am also enjoying the same vacation with a different style.

You know i used to feel that for me things are different and difficult also. But one thing which i must say is that, i used to get into the challenges which realizes me the same..non dying attitude of Indian. Now a common deception comes into the mind what the crap this simile is but no my friend it is a truth. Getting into the computer science branch made my two years in MNNIT more challenging than wining the mount Everest and the same happened then after when i get into the JAVA competency of IBM.

Though one thing which i must have to change is that, i have to make myself enough distant from the ppl who used to get into me and with whom i used to get into. This will make me two way comfortable, at one end i will get time for me and at the other end i will save much of my energy. And it maintains the truth of the old saying that closed book is much more expensive than the open one.


Jai Hind ..Jai Bharat

Finally IN the IBM

So guyssssssss..
Let's cheersss togather as i got the place to settle down finally as i have the right place to live. Though i know it is tough to sustain here but ok. Let's see how much tough they are ? One thing which i must say is i am going to be the good one as per the programming is in concern.

The very first they had taken one test "Algorithm". And the result was expected as i know i am all out. And today hopefully we will get the good things, just crossing our fingers. I am saying us because of the other friends of mine.

Al last the words whcih are making us sustained here "Jai mata di, Let's Rock".

To wait is imminent and for me it is impossible

Mtech is finally over

I never thought even in my dream before march that some day i will become Master of Technology and that also in the field of Software Engineering. A tons of thax to my well wishers and god who helped me in the greatest gamble of my life. Here few points are worth mentioning Amit, Sandy, Rupesh, Harish, Manish, Arvind and many more whose name may be missed by me were the stepping stones to me. I am calling them all as points because all together have made my CPI = 7.

Though behind the scene i was having my past relationships with MITians and there support also which ever times made my confidence enough high to tackle with the situation. Whatever..., today i am a graduate with the highest degree and now the ways are open to move in the direction i want to.

Then where is the problem ..? Does it is in the package? Problem is in the knowledge i gain? Problem is in the market situation..? and some times problem is in my attitude...? Again i have question that where is the solution? And this time ans is simple and that is vivek go through your resume, your one hobby is introspection and retrospection. Why don't you try that?

Yes this is the time when i am living in the maximum possible fluctuations so it's better to analyze that what is good and what is bad in me so that i can put the ramifications before it create problem to me.

Till than this much is sufficient we will meet again ..shabba khair.

What will happen tomorrow ?

Today is monday, a day of shiva and tomorrow is tuesday, a day of shiva's soul "Hanuman". In my life these two days were always having an important impact and so as tomorrow i am going to have something great and good for me. May be this is an optimism, a positive thinking whatever but i know by myself that whatever is happening in this world is for the benefit of your only. So what if you are suffering in one phase of your life, certainly you are going to get something great tomorrow.
MTech is going to end and tomorrow i am having my final defence, though the prefinal was breathtaking i am having some good expectations for tomorrow. May be tomorrow is a day when i will enter into a new phase of my life. Still my thoughts are much wired, that how all things will be managed by me. No doubt only fate can make me happy, still i am trying hard to convince god and my heart so that all the dice will count me to the top.

Result will be self explanatory and will come tomorrow only i can only say ......"Help me God".
Jai Mata Di

High on the high way

Though this was not as high as the movie "Dus Kahaniyaan". Still we were high in our moods. As the troup of we seven are on move towards a destination we dont know and we never met earlier...........

Rest of the updates i will give to you when i will be back...
Till than keep readingggggggggg



So i am back here....Roadies of MNNIT allahabad started their journey from NIT campus and then first stopage was Swaraj Bhavan Museum though we want to take a closer look of Allahabad University but due to the high in speedometer we had just taken a glimpse ;) not more. Then the next destination was so obvious, and that was "Sangam". There we stayed for more than an hour and thanx to Arvind and Manish for such wonderful effort they made for getting snacks for us. It was really great to see all of us togather at Sangam Of three divine rivers Ganga, Jamuna, And Saraswati. This was our luck only that just before our presentation we got a chance to be there. This makes me always crazy to hear the enchantment of vedic mantrs and today it was beyond my expression, i was hearing all that at holiest place of universe, king of all the piligrims and that is one and only Prayaag. Jai Ganaga Miaya...Bum-Bhole.

Our's next destination was the best example of hydrolic mechanism "The Nainy Bridge". It was like swirling device which we were feeling even with the move of Truck and Marshells. Yes Vibrations we were feeling were vibrant enough to make us more crazy than we already were. And we were really enjoying that. We had also gone for photo session with roadie spirit :). Really having friends, bikes and time specially when you are feeling that you want to make this time a memory, there is certainly no good option than to go for a long drive on highway. And the same we were doing. As we all know this is the last trip we are having togather in Allahabad. No one know the future but reality is that we all are going to miss these college days for forever.

By D way then this was the time for long awaited Dhaba night and we all were searching for a good motel. and offffff we haven't got it again but as we all know there is nothing in this world which doesen't have it's consequence and so as here. We got "Sai Dham" A place which is divine for me and for crores who believe in truths. Jai Sai Baba ki.

So for nourishing ourself we were again for a long run to our favouirte Sri Ram hotel at Railway station. And there we had taken our so called fixed menu for all time ;) and for any case, lunch, dinner or whatever you talk.

Finally we were back to track and then a no stopage run towards NIT Allahabad.

In whole i had missed one thing and that is to pay my regrads to those who had given us their bikes. Arun sir, Amit Raj sir, Shaym, Khatri and Jaat. And also to Sandeep who was brave enough to drive that scooter.

Team it's time to say good night. Take a sweet nap as it is enough late and i know that you don't have much time for tomorrow morning.

Roadies: Amit, Arvind, Harish, Manish, Rupesh, Sandeep, Vivek

IBM : A reharshal .....

Though today i can say it again that i got two jobs one which i have already TCS and the other one whcih i had cleared twice is IBM though the happiness is again half as we dont know when we have to join like many others and unlike many others .. as few from other colleges got the joining also. SO the unpredicatablity still lies. And in the situation like this if you decide not to enjoy then i dont feel that anything wrong is in it. YOu want to make sure and then only you want to creat the Buzz so go ahead. But no people whom you count as your best budies they cant understand or partialy they dont want .....I cant say exactly but yes i have a Question in my mind can they imagine that what i am feeling when i am not having the joining date while eveyother is having, can they imagine that what i feeling that i am giving the test for the thing which i already achieved, can they imagine what i am feeling when i have to join in a company with the lower packg than that which was offered to us at the time of joining while all other has incremented the pay package, can they imagine that i have to sign a bond also which was no where in the context when i got through the company. No they cant as they dont want to think with this perspective, and yes why they should think, it is no where linked with them :( sad enough.
No idea what it is and who is wrong and what i have to do in this situation. I know some of my friends are not having job and they are in a worst situation that mine but god knows about them that something great can happen with the tomorrow as the opportunity they are having none is having.
So comparing with some one is again a wrong thing. The soul is should i really be responsive to these thoughts, should i really be the one who walks alone with all the good and bad things at his own eyes.
I cant say about others but can say to myself that "Vivek None has seen the futuer but the past says what Darvin said earlier "If you want to live fight and prove the worth otherwise go and get a deep sleep somewhere under the earth" and this is all about life."

Chicken Pox

Sadly I got through this. And as of now i am OK but the Scars i have is really giving me panic. Whatever here is some information i want to share with you all.


What is Chicken Pox?

Chicken pox is a highly contagious viral disease that is spread by direct contact or breathing in germs from someone's cough or sneeze. Two weeks after exposure, chicken pox spots appear on the body.

How is it treated?

Baking soda bath.

Calamine lotion as needed to skin.

Benadryl liquid or capsules taken by mouth for itching.

Important points to remember:

Chicken pox is spread by direct contact or breathing in from nose and throat secretions.

Crusts do not contain the virus.

Crusting occurs in 5 to 10 days after breakout.

Children are not to go to school for at least 7 days - until all sores are crusted.

Trim nails and do not scratch.

Bathe daily.

Let scabs fall off by themselves.

Home remedies for Chicken Pox Scars :

Apply Sandalwood oil ( not the paste ) from the first day of appearance of rash till the fall of scabs.

Apply Vitamin E oil over the skin. Will help the healing process.

A bath of oatmeal is a natural remedy to relieve the itch due to chicken pox.

Honey smeared over the skin will also help in healing the disease.

Lukewarm water baths with neem leaves will help relieve the itching.

Life make you enough stronger than you wanted to be...

Yes this happened and usually to those who wanted to achieve big in the world. As we all IBM recruits wanted to be the big and i suppose excluding me all are the master in their field. Life wanted to make them enough stronger so that they can bear things in any cost and situation ...Initially a company recruits you through the bash and get relaxed that the shape of life is decided. And just before you are making yourself mentally prepare for the new journey and the need of hour arises you got a news that still you are not authentic and you have to prove yourself once again.
So what is this can understand that the life is not at all playing a game it is making us stronger stronger stronger as every day passes more stronger than the previous.

A philoshpy which can make you worthy of life

I am in love with you irrespective of what you have and what you can give to me...may be! I am your best friend no matter in the situation we are living.... again may be ! We are the relatives the and the blood relation is always workable irrespective of the cause in which it is being applied....may be!.

These all are not only the situations where we usually come down and think that why this happened though everything was running smoothly. And the whole philosophical mouth got shout as no one is having the real ans of this turmoil of faith and relation. As in the previous post i suggested that may be the life is something which is all about give and take then why people are still interested in great love great friendship and great and liable relationships. Just because they want they can't get as these all things can only be acquired through a long and tough phase of examination.

Your friend is in tough situation he needs your help and you wait until comes you and ask for the same. Your love want the momentum though you too want the same but you expect it from her side as this is sth you can't compromise with. You know that your simple presence makes someone very happy but that you never want as you never want to be simple and specially when it concerned to the others ;-) what a joke.

This all is happening and still you sometimes cry for life for friends and for relations. Why this dual characterization? Why you cheat yourself just because of you are enervated you vacillate among the two points. And then blame others that the relation is not maintained by them.

So finally the cream is that no one is responsible for others and everyone is responsible of every other ;-) thus living happily is no mare a cause of living satisfied as the want and need you pursue is just because you persue not because you are passionate about.

So till than we will not put the remedy here we will never get the soul of relation no matter how many count we increase in out friend list.

Your welcome is subject to the ornaments you have

You are going somewhere and you want people to get along with you then what is the possibility that you will get them on your side, Let's have a look:
1. You think that you are convivial and eat drink and be merry is your slogan for life then apart from the slogan you must have or you need money to buy that "eat, drink, and for being merry". If you are not having that soon you will change your slogan to "Life is all about give and take".

2. Though you are not brilliant still you smoothly driving your cart of academics say thanx to god and your friends as the circumstances they had made for you which are not only favourable to you but also making other people convinced to put the burden of yours at their back on their expenses. The day is not for away when you feel that people are feeling you tough and unbearable so make your self worthy to have that confidence and love of GOD and Friends.

3. Your coolest friend some times make you think twice or thrice about your or his behaviour not because of you had changed but because of the suitability you are having for the friendship, and this requires changes and compatibility with the market so better go for servicing than people through you out and buy a new one.

4. Parting is not bad at all after all this is the span of life when each and every moment requires some zeal and enthusiasm to be lived so if you are thinking that at any point of time you are loosing that passion it directly indicates that you need to wake up and upgradation is required otherwise time of farewell is near to you by the friend's with whom you lived and sang the most sentimental songs of friendship.

So i am not saying that there is any harm in you or in friends or the definition of life is being changed this is all about the professionalism which has under covered the relations under the banner that the suitability of yours is the requirements of others and both in combination always forms the best example of friendship. So make it sure that though friendship is forever, friends need to be re conceived after a specified time span which is good and healthy for the long term relation.

Mera chautha karwachauth

भोर के इस पहर तुमको सोते हुए ,
देखना इस तरह इस कदर प्यार से|
ऐसा लगता है ख्वाबों में हो एक परी ,
आ गया हूँ मैं सपनो के संसार में |

सुबह की रश्मियाँ छेड़ने जब लगीं ,
नींद आँखों का घर छोड़ने जब लगीं |
मिच्मिचायी नजर, करवटें बेखबर ,
दिल ये चाहा लुटा दूँ मैं जाँ प्यार में |

तेरा अलसायी नजरों से यूँ देखना,
तेरा होठों के जरिये मुझे छेड़ना |
दिल ने चाहा यहीं वक़्त को थाम लूं ,
फिर से खो जावूँ मैं तेरे संसार में |

शाम की है घटा , थक चुका है बदन ,
प्यास होठों पे है मन है फिर भी मगन |
कितनी हसरत से सजती संवरती हुई ,
भर रही है मेरा प्यार वो मांग में |

देखो पल्लू मेरा है सही या नहीं ,
देखो साडी के प्लेटें सही या नहीं |
देखो सच बोलना तुमको मेरी कसम,
कैसी लगती हूँ दुल्हन के सृंगार में |

सारे नाजुक से रिश्ते निभाती हुई,
हर रिवाजों पे सर को झुकाती हुई|
तेरा मासूमियत से मुझे देखना,
झुक गया में तेरे सामने प्यार में |

About me

One Year Back:

Thoughts are always your's but what if you are unable to express them...feelings are always your's but what if others are unable to feel the pulses of that.....and here i am presenting the remedy ;P)----join me and get settled. But please remember one thing and that is "Mery biwi ko nahi hai pata toooo mery biwi se mat kahna :=))" .

Point2.--------------
So finally i can say that life get settled but still it is the ploy of others hand to run the life of mine and here the pinch comes directly to my heart that how i can live a life which i am not governing. Though getting through IBM means a very big satisfaction to my career path still the same feeling of not getting the fullest make my night's uneasy. So this is the clear cut indication that i have to go a long way, Indeed.

Point3---------------------------------

After every time spam your ideolgy get change ...your preferences get change and so as mine..after this long term i am again here with few of my new character traits with the personality mix....
Never i thought that this way of living will any time become my passion. Doing orkutting is somehow ok for me but doing programming..oh shhhhhh...i never thought it about me, but now i suppose it's going to be true for me.
For whom pointing the fingers means to suggest the members of team to do this or to do that but now the fingers are very much instructing to the mind to include this or to print that..I don't know how much i am going to be happy with it but certainly at present time i am very happy to live with my premature d programming experiences....
Rest all i have written in my blog you can make yourself comfortable there....
yaaaaa but at last one thing which i must tell is that..

"Thoda hai thode ki jarurat hai ..jindagi fir bhi yahan khoobsurat hai "

so living the life gracefully i am happily welcoming you in this web space of mine :)


"sanson main mahak rah jaaye wahi kaafi hai ....
yaadon main kasak rah jaaye wahi kaafi hai ...
tere sath hum rahin na rahin....
tery yaadon main mery jhalak rahe jaaey wahi kaafi hai ...."


---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Latest research :

It's yet not clear to me that who am i, though i usually ask this to my friends and put a brief lecture on it, that if you dont know about your own strength and weakness then how you are going to tackle the world. But i suppose even i dont know the brevity of this world that who am i ? and what i wanna be ....
Point2:
every time my dream make me aware about the above question but in the very next breath my nerves make me possessive about my local obsessions and that's the end of the story. Certainly one can ask that you must had learned some lessons from your dream which you usually see then ans for this is yesssss at last i beleive that at the end there is no moral in the story and i have to walk in the way only where the wind is flowing no matter i love that way or not....
Point3:
So the answer comes like : I am useless fellow who dream big and then again dream big and then the loop continues up to the last breath so i dont have any time to do anything with my dreams to make them reality as i am already busy with another dream.

Thank you very much

Last "Culrav" of college life

So finally the day came which has brought the truth that vivek now you will no more enjoy the culture fest of college being a student :) and i am happy to accept it as me too don't want the same situation any more. My life is calling me hard and i am unable to resist it's voice. This time the greatest experience was, that i was fully a non competitive viewer who was seeing the things analyzing them and was living some cool life while watching someone very special ...an outsider female participant :P .Though from the first day onwards my creativity was at the peak as i heard two of the much awaited icons of Hindi poetry Dr Kuwanr Bechain and Dr Kumar Vishwash and not only heard them but also met them, feel them and learned from them thanks to MNNIT allahabad.
होके मायुश न यूँ शाम से ढलते रहते रहिये
जींदगी भोर है सूरज से निकलते रहिये
एक ही थावं पे ठहरेगे तो थक जायेंगे
धीरे धीरे ही सही राह में चलते रहिये
These were the lines which really tells me the way that life should be moving as dynamism is the ingredient which makes living a reality. And may be i am some where losing that dynamism in my life. Ever time i have something special in my mind but this is the dynamism which putt's me at the back again.


So where is the flaw? Why in the wee hours only i feel that i have to wake up? Why sometimes winning is not my attitude? These are the questions which are generally the problem of all but all those who get the solution get the motion.

So i am again in the Que of dynamism let's see when i will get that?

A new line for you

Some new creations By me: vivek"Veeran"

पहले ये हाल था की गम हमें रुलाते थे
अब ये आलम है की हम गम को हंसा लेते हैं
-------------------------------------
मेरी तकदीर में मालूम नहीं लिखा क्या है
हम तो बस ख्वाब देखते हैं सजा लेते हैं |
--------------------------------
हमको एहसास है लम्बी है डगर सूनी है
बस यही सोच कर रूठों को मना लेते हीं
============================================
मेरे अश्कों की कीमत यूँ तो जाने क्या रही होगी
वो तेरी याद थी जो कौदियौं में बह गए सारे...
------------------------------------------------
अभी कुछ रोज पहले दोस्त थे हमराज थे मेरे
जरा सी रात क्या आई पराये हो गए सारे......
----------------------------------------------------------
बड़ी बेजार दुनिया है बड़ी मतलब परस्ती है
वफ़ा और दोस्ती बस नाम बन कर रह गए प्यारे...
---------------------------------------------------------
बड़ी मुदात से जिस लड़के को इस काबिल बनाया था
वो लड़के किस तरह रिशते भुला बैठे यहाँ सारे

What Should I do ?

Some of my frineds usually say to me that this profession is not my cup of tea and i have to move some where else. Exactly where i have to go they never told to me but yes they realize me that here i am not ablo to use my potential properly as i can do it somewhere else. They do say that some times stage performances as an actor, as an anchor and some times as a consultant i am fit.


Now here comes the opinion of my own soul which takes a deep breath and shut's all of it's door so that not even air is allowed to come out so how can i judge the right way if my soul is not permitting me or better i say not showing me the way i have to choose for being good in my profession.

Ok when some times i even thought to change the stream then the so called fear for the uncertainties and unsuccessful grasp and through me in the net of if or if not and here all the creativity and strength lost which i gained through the suggestions of my friends....

Evertime there is Money which dominates and there are Realities which truncates

Easily if you are having money then the dreams are lesser in number which are unaffordable and for this what maximum you have to do is you have to buy it and some one who will not have that money will sold them even when these are his dreams and he had seen them with all the passion and zeal but no he is not worthy of it as he is not having money"The cost for maintainability of Dream's" is no doubt a big Money.


It's not at all wrong that you are the follower of the truth in this so called civilized world as we all know that truth, now a days is even worse that the crap. So the thing which matters is the way you present the truth and reveals the shadowy aliment of society. Because this makes you intelligent as people who are the winners don't do different things but do things differently so if you are having a dream that you have to change the system then the first step is you have to live with the system.


As i always

"Youn tamasha dekhne main hai maja kuch bhi nahi ..
Asliyat to tab dikhegi jab dikho kirdaar main
Waise to duniya yahan per bhar rahi hai dam hajaar..
tery kimat tab milegi jab biko baajar main"

Yahan her raat ki subah hai humdam tum na ghabraana

The way we live is usually the way we can understand the situation around us. Though at each and every time feel that we are pretty good in visualizing the things that what is good and what's not. But in many of the cases the overall perception is only judged by our own mind and that's not right as we live in the world which is having many threads and they pulls each other every time. So what' s the best way now?

Does our imagination is wrong or we have to take the advice from others every time we want to start a new venture ...whatever in all the cases the creativity diminished.

Here all which i want to put is that the reason at the back of every one's failure is that he or she has not done the homework or the relative study of their destines properly. Each one of us want to be the milliner but how ? this no one knows. We all want to be the one having all the luxuries but how this is away from us and the big thing is that even i am writing this i am suffering from the same. So does this is right that the hands have everything mentioned earlier and luck is more powerful than hard work.

Does we can not do anything but the destinies are predefined?

No clues at all. But yes the majority is suffering it means there must be something which is dealing with this type of failure may be the commitment or whatever but something must be missing between luck and dreams.